Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?
Healing is required after a breakup, which a person does by keeping himself strong staying single or either by leaning on someone and getting into a new relationship. But there in the back of the mind comes a question can you be friends with your ex? Few are of the opinion that friendship with the ex is natural to keep an open communication later as well.
It is really required to recognize that your ex is capable of being friend material or not. But if you really think that the relationship ended with some serious issues and with a mutually understanding and consent then there is no hardship in being friends with the one whom you have loved once. But it is really required that all the emotional facts have been cleared out and a second thought is given to a new start by both the partners.
One should not be lingering in the same thoughts and feelings before you make a contact take a time to settle down yourself and then communicate to be friends further. The length of time taken to settle down depends on how long the relationship was and the reason for the breakup as well.
Be clear in telling him about the new friendship so that he does not interpret something out of it. If the person is still lingering in the same thoughts then it is difficult case to continue as a friend. It is really required that the person should bring self-improvement and restore self-reliance that makes much easier to entirely choose him as a friend and ignoring all past thereby giving a new start.
One has to spend plenty of time with him first to make such strong decision and be practical in all the aspects and give a clear line to distance his ex from all thoughts of such love and care. Avoid meeting him alone and hang out with friends or on a small social outing and do not repeat the activities which they use to do earlier. Do not blame him for little things as now you have no rights on him. You should have the courage to listen about their new relationship and accept it as well.
It is important that one has to be really strong to sustain such friendship but it’s not that difficult too if both the partners understand and both are bold enough to continue talking and maintain a good relationship. Behave that everything has changed and nothing is same as it was earlier, he should get clear sign that you expect him to behave just liked a friend and not more than that.
Don’t give him a chance to spin anything fishy in your group friends and be honest that we have mutually decided to be friends that the relationship is over due to some reasons. Taking care of someone is also a part of friendship so make sure that you are available when he needs you and wants to share with you. Do not let him get close to you or hold you or hug as it may arouse the old feeling. One can get into this only he is strong enough to hold and control his emotions and feelings towards his ex.