How to deal with favoritism among family and friends
Some people are very upset about favoritism. Favoritism haven’t to do not only with family but friends as well so I ‘am gonna talk about both. Because the friend’s favoritism is hurtful.
I will tell you mine story it was a group of three friends, and other two are closer to each other than to me. And it’s just bothered me at the time because they seem to have this connection that I didn’t have with them. And they would get together, the two of them a lot more than the three of us get together. So yeah, I was hurt by to have to say, now would I be hurt now? NO. No because I know that it’s not personal. They were closer because they had more things in common and whatever it is. They have more things in common, they may be having similar background, and it could be anything so I don’t take it personally anymore. So that’s why it’s less hurtful.
If you realize that it has less to deal with you and more to just them and the fact that I’m telling you the group of three never seem to workout especially among women. Guys it seems that little bit different, but I don’t know, but may be because women are more are deeper and have emotional connection. So I don’t know, I have to think little more about it but I just know it’s happen and I don’t necessarily know why it seems always happen with women and not with men. But I know now, to not get so upset about it. I think when you get older and it just happens.
As far as family members I see that it happens a lot with grandparents. And again I don’t know that grandparents know what they are doing. Because they have more grandchildren and they seem to favor may be one or two.
I have seen that it happen grandmothers will favor daughters or may be a grandmother or grandfather will favor a grandchild that’s more like them or more like their favorite child than the other. I don’t know why this happens but it’s very-very hurtful. People are living longer so these people in thirties they still have their grandparents. And so this is a real problem and again its very-very hurtful. So should you talk to your grandparents? You could, will it get you anywhere probably not. And they will deny…deny…deny. But you could sit them down and say “look I just not, ohh john get much more attention than me and I just don’t understand and I am such a good grandchild that brings you gifts or blah blah blahhh” that’s really not gonna work but yeah you could say; something to the fact “you seem to spend so much time with john and I am wondering that I would like to have that connection that you have with john. I don’t feel that I have that so what could I do with to get that connection with you, you seem to be little bit closer to john than the rest of us and I would like to closer to you too.” Something like that, do not say those words which do not put them in a position so that their after you have to defend yourself. But maybe they will say “ohh, no no we love you as much as john.” But maybe they start thinking that we are paying much attention to john and we don’t realize it. They could just start the real spinning.
At least give a try. And if not there are just a lot of things we have to accept in life as they are. Oh I just came to the conclusion that it’s just not gonna be right. And yes it’s hurtful and what you do? In some way you have to deal with it.
And same with your friends. Say you are in a group or three friends or may be group of five and you notice that these two are closer. You can say something like “you know guys sometimes you both spend more time with each other and you know I understand that you have this or this in common but its hurtful” and maybe they gonna realize it. Whatever just expand your local circle don’t rely on one or two close friends. Because I think that its better to have whole bunch of maybe superficial friends not great friends may be not really close but that’s better than maybe just one or two best friends, because when you lose those and you are like “oh no now I have no one”. So really try to expand your social circle.