Today would I like to talk to you about what to do when you are not happy in a relationship? So huge starting point, when you are in happy relationship is to look at the expectations that you are casting on to that other person to your partner. And to really stop for a moment ask yourself. Are those expectations that I am casting on to my partner realistic expectations. Am I looking at my partner’s expecting them to be the source of my happiness? Am I looking at my partner expecting that there role is to make me happy to keep me complete? If I am looking at these expectations that making me happy and always on some sort of adventure or I am feeling loved all the time. Then my expectations are out of balance. I am trying fill up on somebody else. And I am coming to this relationship out of need rather than want. So it’s like I need this person to fill me up to make me happy.
Then what happen if I need to take control of my life and take responsibility for my happiness. Nobody else can fill up the emptiness inside of me; instead I need to reclaim back my life and making my emotional role larger. Also I wanna faith peace journey, is God the center of my life. Or I am plug-in into people rather than plug-in into God to feel better. And so I have to look at where am I, setting my priorities in this relationship. Am I making this relationship my God? So those are some points that I need to look at myself.
If I am not happy in my relationship, another starting point is to look at my emotional voice.
Am I using my emotional voice?
Saying in words that what it is that I want, I need. Or I am expecting through the kind of that the person pick up emotionally on my needs and they are just purposely denying the fulfillment that I need.
So have I lost my voice in this relationship? Am I asking what it is, don’t even know, what I need. What are my feelings around that?
Or I am unhappy in this relationship is just because the other person is not my emotionally safe person anymore. I feel like I am walking on emotional edges around them. Or they not really follow this level of supporting my life instead they can turn on me. And I am putting more energy for protecting myself.
If it is one of those situations then I have resemblance, I have unresolved dishes or we are not communicating. So it’s about having journey of tools and skills for how to deal with specifically this issue in a relationship.
