Hi Friends. You are here either you are fed up from your marriage life or you just want to crack some marriage jokes for fun. Here is the best collection of funny marriage quotes and sayings. I hope you gonna love it and going to laugh as you read every funny marriage quote.
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”
“Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree
and women get her master’s degree.”
“Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring, and suffering.”
“Most men who are not married by the age of thirty five are either homosexual or really smart.”
“Motto for bride and groom we are a work in progress
with a lifetime contract.” –Phyllis Koss
“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right!
And the other is a husband…”
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy:
if you get a bad one, You’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
“The Key to a Happy Marriage is …… who knows hahaha.”
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years then we met. J”
“Marriage is knowing each other’s buttons
and pressing them repeatedly when bored.“
“Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops…”
“When you meet someone who can cook and do housework,
don’t hesitate a minute marry him.”
“Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.”
“Everyone is born equal in life,
until they get married.”
“I only do what the voices in my wife’s head tell her to tell me to do.”
“My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.”
“You have two choices in life:
you can stay single and be miserable
or get married and wish you were dead.”
Marriage is a book in which the initial chapter is written in Poetry
and the remaining chapters in prose…”
“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts
and a diamond. By the end. You wish you had a club and a spade.”
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife…”
“The best way to remember your wife’s
birthday is to forget it once.”
“Why love marriage is better than arranged marriage?
Because a known devil is better than an unknown ghost.”
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one
special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
“Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.”
“Marriage is like going to a restaurant your choice from the menu
and then you look at neighboring table and wish you would ordered that…”
“My wife and I always compromise.
I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.”
“A good Marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
“Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.”
“Marriage is like a bank account.
You put it in, you take it out, and you lose interest.”
“Love is blind, marriage is the eye opener.”
Hmmmm