I wanna talk now about how to have happy healthy relationship with another person.
I met my wife Alice probably 35 years ago. We were married happily for 34 years. Many people talk about going through the good times and the bad times. But Alice and I never had bad time. We never had difficult part of our relationship, its always being smooth. We had four beautiful children, we have a lovely home. We have a lovely relationship.
And so people ask me why is this possible?
One of the famous German philosopher (Stephen Covey) said “be sure to keep the main thing the main thing”. The main thing in your life is to have a beautiful relationship with the most important person in your life. So think about that and put that at the top of your list.
Here are things that I have found.
Listening: listening builds trust. Just turn off the television, to shut down all distractions, to put the newspaper side and just listen to the other person, when they talk is the powerful way to build trust and depth in relationship.
Time: The fact is the only way took the quality of relationship is by spending more time face to face, head to head with the other person. So the most successful people I have met over the years are people who spend time 30, 60, 90 minutes longer, where they can just be with the other person.
When you are driving your car, leave things off. Because when you are driving a car and there is nothing plane, car fails with conversation. And you start to share ideas and you build this intimacy and are depth in your relationship.
Tell your spouse that you love him/her every day. Tell the person in your relationship married or not. How valuable they are to you? Compliment them on the regular basis, compliment them on their achievements. They currently want you to say that the key to success in life is to make other people feel important. And this is not something that you just leave to chance. So you are always looking for little ways to make the other person feel important.
Sometimes just a positive statement or a compliment, sometimes helping them out to do something, sometimes just listening patiently without interruption when they are talking.
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Tells the person how important they are.
We always pay attention to what we most value in life and so when the other person in your life wants to talk or needs to talk or doing something. We pay total attention to them. We pay them value. We may raise their self esteem. We make them feel important in our life.
And what happens if your relationship is solid. Everything else in life can be troubling, which it will be. But of your relationship is solid it’s like an anchor that holds you throughout life. And when you look back, you find that everything else comes and goes but the relationship is more important. So “the main thing is to make the main thing, the main thing” and your relationship with the most important person in your life is the main thing.